In many of my previous blog entries I reflected on the thoughts I had before leaving for South Africa, and how these expectations compared to my experiences thus far. It is really weird to think that now there are only three weeks left in our trip before we will all be brought back to reality in the United States. Now I am faced with how I am going to deal with reentering a society that I have become far more critical of and seeing all my friends who probably have changed very little compared to the amount I have changed in the past semester. Don’t get me wrong – there are some things I am really excited to return to in the States. I cannot wait to eat good cereal, Parmesan cheese, milk that does not go bad in two days and a really good hot fudge brownie sundae. I am excited to see my friends and family and live in a house with less than 15 people (not that I do not love everybody, but the concept of privacy is long gone). However, I am anxious to adjust back to the college world and leave all the people I have met, the culture I came to love and the beauty of the land I am surrounded by everyday.Thankfully, we still have three weeks left and some of us made a list of everything we want to do but have not gotten around to yet, and have already been able to check a few activities off. However, it is a new attitude towards our time left – we are all being brought down from the euphoric cloud we have been residing on for most of the semester and have started talking about how little time we have left. As Cassidy mentioned in her previous blog, I have talked with people about my worry of going home and having no way to really share my experiences with anyone. The only people who truly understand this experience are the fourteen other people I live with, and while I have no doubt that we will see each other and remain good friends, I am worried about when I am away from them, so often wanting to reference back to certain experiences and emotions felt in Cape Town, but having nobody there to understand. I also feel that I have so many substantive conversations with my friends here about politics, religion, gender, race, and just generally the philosophy of living life. It is not as if I no longer like shopping, watching movies or gossiping here and there about what some dumb celebrity did. However, I do not know how I am going to go back to such a materialistic world where so many conversations center on fashion, tabloids or any of the many other shallow subjects Americans discuss.
We have also become very used to the South African economy and the Rand, where a really nice dinner and drinks may cost R100 (10 U.S. Dollars). I think it will be incredibly hard to function in a society where jeans often cost 100 dollars (R1000) or where the price of McDonalds is more expensive than a nice restaurant’s dinner in South Africa. I feel like it will be hard to justify spending so much money on anything.
I have also thought a lot lately about how this experience has been about discovering myself as much as it has been about discovering a new culture. I think through my internship, I have really solidified what I value in life, and what I want to strive towards in the world throughout my lifetime. I think living with 14 other people has taught me what all my pet peeves are, what qualities in people I really value, what characteristics of myself could use improvement, and what habits or activities I need to do to keep healthy and sane. I think through my personal experiences and dealing with the challenges I have recently faced in my own life, I am learning about self-awareness, how to deal with emotion and how to take care of myself. I feel like I will come home (not to sound cheesy and incredibly cliché) a changed person and will return to people who do not understand me as well and who have not changed. I realize that it is inevitable that my life back home will change because of this experience, and a part of me is scared to figure out exactly what that change will be. However, another part of me is eager to take what I have learned from all my experiences here, and implement my values and beliefs about the world back at home. I guess I will just have to enjoy my last month here and take it day by day when I get home, reassuring myself that the culture and people I have met here will be a part of me for a very long time to come.
Stephanie Y & Emily G
