This blog comes a week late for a number of reasons. I was so pre-occupied my last week in Cape Town that it completely slipped my mind until I returned. It has now been a week since I left Cape Town and it has been quiet a difficult week. It is not so much adjusting back into my old setting that has thrown me off, but rather missing the life that I had built so perfectly in Cape Town.
Of course I miss everything about Cape Town; seeing Table Mountain everywhere I go, walking across the Rondebosch commons, the delicious sushi (particularly salmon fashion sandwiches), the daily train and minibus rides, going to the office where I worked in town, going up to UCT on Thursdays, spending lazy weekends at Clifton or Camps Bay beaches, and the list goes on. I miss even the little things, like seeing women walking around with children attached to their back by a towel or blanket tied to their chest and seeing the adorable little heads bobbing precariously up and down. Most of all, however, I miss the people- all of the people, and especially my irreplaceable friends.
Walking to the train station, at the minibus station in town, through the underground mall, down the streets of downtown Cape Town- I felt so comfortable and at ease. I can’t properly explain or put my finger on what is different or why I do not feel this way here. What made Cape Town such a welcoming place? Maybe it’s the idea of “ubuntu” and the way people live their lives by this idea, I’m not sure, but it definitely has to do with the people and the way that they relate with one another. Everyone acts as themselves, they seem comfortable with who they are and seem sincere and genuine in their daily interactions with others. In turn, I was left no choice but to act solely as myself. I did not have to pretend I was anyone else to try and fit in, I felt like myself more than ever before. Coming home, this has stayed with me. I now, have a much better grasp on who I am and this is the most valuable thing I could have gained on a personal level. At the same time, it is strange coming home and feeling as though it is not home anymore. I have spent my entire life in New York, however, during my three and a half months in South Africa, I came to feel more at home than ever before.
Although my departure from Cape Town was quite traumatic, I found some comfort in my pain. My immense sorrow indicates how deeply the past three and half months affected and changed me. I have gained unspeakable amounts and I now know what my passion and calling is, I know where I am happy and how I can find happiness and I realize what is truly important to me.
I never said goodbye to South Africa, but rather, see you soon because I plan to go back as soon as possible. I want to travel a lot in the future, however I feel that my time in Cape Town was cut short and thus, I must return before going elsewhere. Part of me will remain dissatisfied and unfulfilled until my return. Until then- I will reflect upon what I have learned and be grateful for the experiences and opportunities I had, unforgettable people I have formed unbreakable bonds with and the love I have found.
